Uhh... I just Glicked myself
PLAUGE ILLNESS DEATH
Hello and welcome…
This is the second blog post by Daniel Drake. In this week I cover a variety of topics. I saw the two major movies and went to some new places. To be honest, my week was bogged down by illness, which I’ll get into later. This week’s post is not for the faint of stomach.
An Ode to My Boss
My boss, Norma, just officially left the company because she was a temporary special project consultant. She was probably the most interesting woman I have ever met, and I want you all to know about her.
My introduction to Norma was at the interview. She immediately started sharing. I learned about her Washington Heights upbringing, her recent divorce, her children. What intrigued me most was her phone, throughout the interview it would not stop buzzing on the table next to her. At one point she took a peek and sighed loudly. I politely asked, “Is everything okay?”
She looked at me and said “my former boss just got arrested and people are texting me about it.”
“Oh, would it be someone I know?” I innocently followed.
“Do you know who Sean Combs is?”
I do in fact know who Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is.
She never fully clarified her past role in Diddy’s life but she did leave clues. Later she claimed a coworker’s imposition was akin to “the federal government barging down my door.” I don’t know her role in the parties but I do know she is an event planner…
At first she often forgot my name, switching to the classic “David.” She was very opinionated about the workplace and people. She had many life lessons to share.
“You need to teach people how you want to be treated.”
“David, you need to be meaner.”
“Write everything down.”
“Do not take the 6 train at 6am.”
She had cardinal rules of interacting with people that if I ever broke she would exclaim, “what did they teach you at Princeton?”
She never paid for cable or streaming services. Her neighbor knew how to pirate things onto a FireTV stick and she quote “would hook me up” if I “brought a roku or something into work” because she gets “5 accounts on her plan”. Her plan was of course $80 a year for every movie that’s ever existed and ones that haven’t even been fully released. One day I recommended The Substance to her and she came in the next day saying she watched it at 3am that night. “What theater?” “Oh, on my FireTV thing.” It was on a limited release in theaters only.
She would call her children with her office door open telling them “If he pushes you, punch him in the face. You won’t get in trouble.”
She absolutely hated our office Chief of Staff, Bridget. She had many names for Bridget, The Bionic Bitch, RoboC*nt, That ho on 13. In Norma’s defense, every interaction I had with Bridget was unpleasant. So… I kinda get it.
When Norma found out that I was paid hourly without healthcare, she immediately put a plan in action for me to get it. The HR guys said “I assumed he was on his parents’ healthcare.”
She replied, “You can never assume that. They do not have Kaiser over here.”
They don’t.
And one day she asked me, out of the blue, what drug are kids doing these days? I replied ketamine. Our conversation led to weed, where she revealed to me that she grows her own. With photo proof, she showed off her three MASSIVE plants and greenhouse in her backyard.
On her last day, she handed me two fatty joints, rolled to perfection, tightly sealed in a plastic container. She said, “Never buy that street shit, Young Daniel.”
I will miss her and work will be much less interesting now. Hopefully one day our paths cross again. To whoever works with her next… good luck.
Don’t Tell Mama
I have found a new contender for one of the worst bars in New York City. Across the street from Gabby and Charlotte’s apartment is the music bar, Don’t Tell Mama. It’s quaint, it’s fun, but god is it annoying.
This Tuesday, Charlotte invited Gabby and I to watch her sing in a cabaret (a collection of one-off songs) (I actually don’t know if I’m using the word right) written by the Princeton alum who wrote ‘Orange Bubble’ for all the Triangle heads on here. I will speak on this more later.
The bar felt like I was walking into Time Square because everywhere you looked someone was trying to scam you. First of all it was cash only. Cash only goes one of two ways, either it’s a mom and pop shop, small business that hasn’t updated their tech, or a pretentious place that is either evading taxes or trying to annoy you. Like please, invest in a fucking square register. If the Halal cart guy has one so can you, dawg.
Secondly, there was a $20 cover charge… just for walking in. Fine, it’s a show I’ll pay it. Thirdly, there was a $20 minimum… I get it, fine… you want people to come and actually get something… fine fine. FOURTHLY… there was a two drink minimum PER PERSON. WHAT? The specialty cocktails were $20, well drinks and wine $14, and beer by the bottle $10… I hate this city sometimes. Why is there a two drink minimum just let me get things that equal $20. Gabby and I both got two beers because fuck the system. Well I changed my second to a Gin and Tonic because it was only four dollars. The couple next to us was also incredibly annoying. They were haggling with the waiter (which is understandable) and asked him if they could buy one drink and just pay an extra $6. He reluctantly agreed. They proceeded to talk and laugh loudly about this the whole evening. I forget that most people lead quite dull lives and aren’t friends with really funny people, so something like that must be a real thrill for them. Also, I’m not being a total hater, the tables were so squished together that we were ass to elbows in those chairs. We couldn’t help but hear everything they said.
The show itself was great, though. Charlotte’s song was wonderful. The rest were okay. He decided to show snippets of some plays he’s written which is a fun idea but doesn’t really work when you get like two seconds of a two hour play. I could tell he had better music than what he was showing. But it was a fun time… even if it cost me $50…
Wicked
This Wednesday I had the pleasure of seeing an early screening of Wicked at the Kips Bay AMC. I saw it with four friends who are all musical theater obsessed (you know the squad), so for them I imagine it was kind of like how I felt watching Avengers: Endgame or perhaps Star Wars: The Force Awakens. In addition to them, the theater was packed with 20-30 year old musical theater majors who I could tell were holding back their singing the entire time. Although I had the beginnings of a sinus infection and horrible headache, I really loved it! I had a great time. It wasn't Oscar worthy but it was definitely the best movie musical I’ve seen in a long time.
I went in skeptical, to Gabby’s annoyance. The shots in the trailer looked horribly color-graded and often backlit. I have to say most of the movie is lit fine. There is a specific scene in the library that is egregiously backlit but it didn’t take away from the overall energy. As for color, I wish it was more colorful. I am famously colorblind so it could have been because of that, but I really like when glitzy musicals like this are super colorful. There were some great moments with color though like when Elphaba was singing about changing her green skin and these magical prisms changed her skin tone in real time - it was dope looking. The sets, however, were all practical and amazing looking. Overall, costumes, production design was a complete win. Wish it was all a little more vibrant, though.
The performances were great too. Ariana Grande ate up the acting and most of the singing, Cynthia Erivo was a little cringy acting but amazing singing all around. There is some controversy around Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Yeoh being cast. They are not musical theater actors and IT SHOWED. I respect Jeff Goldblum’s casting because he doesn’t sing very much and his iconic and eccentric nature really lend to the role of the Wizard. Michelle on the other hand… I love her but I’m sorry… kind of ass. She cannot sing. Other than those things it was super enjoyable. As a first time watcher I was really into it. I did feel like I was in a Spider-Man: No Way Home screening when I had never heard of Spider-Man. People were clapping, crying, screaming, laughing at moments that I didn’t understand. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it.
Gladiator II
This weekend Gabby and I participated in GLICKED, the biggest event this Thanksgiving season. To prepare, I even watched Gladiator I on Thursday night. First my thoughts on Gladiator I are that it was really good. This is kind of obvious because it’s a very successful and acclaimed film but I think it was awesome. I kept thinking that Ridley Scott never leaned into preconceived notions of what the Roman Empire was like, it always felt realistic and different than what I was expecting.
The very late sequel was also great. Not as good, but also great. My first impressions upon leaving the theater were “Wow, that was sick.” The fighting and battle sequences were so well done I could easily follow and get in on the action. I was audibly gasping and shit. The main issues with Gladiator II were some of the performances and some of the writing. ON THE WHOLE, the performances were great. Denzel Washington steals the show (as we expected) and in the words of a twitter person i saw, “he’s the only one with clear motivations so it’s hard not to root for him.” This is very true, even though he’s the villain it’s very hard not to root for him. Every time he’s on screen, though it’s electric I want more. Paul Mescal on the other hand, while he is an amazing actor, sometimes fell flat. His character was kind of ill-defined. He was a chiller dude who was friends with all the other gladiators but also got mad sometimes and also could fight. His only goal is to kill Pedro Pascal and then it just changes to fulfill the “dream of Rome,” which is also kind of ill-defined.
Pedro Pascal did great, the two emperors were eating it up, and I had no clue the smaller guy was the brother from White Lotus season 1, Connie Nielson was great, the entire vibe of the surrounding Rome was excellently done. Basically, final review, it was great but every time Paul had a little monologue I was praying we’d cut to Denzel or a fight scene.
Also the CGI was crazy and bad and also there was a scene with monkeys where they look insane and Paul Mescal eats one? Sorry spoilers…
My Failing Health Trigger warning it’s a little gross but I’ll spare you the details
At the beginning of the month of November, Gabby told me, “I feel like I’ve never seen you sick.” I got pretty sick for a week at the beginning of July but other than that I haven’t been sick for maybe three years. This all changed, however, after my visit to Princeton. I’m not saying that Princeton is a grimey, germ-infested, hell-hole but I do think that my short visit there on November 2nd gave me a pretty bad illness. I felt sick for another week or two but it seemed to fade. On November 16th, I had my final improv show and went to the afterparty. There I did take a hit of this 40-year old woman’s joint and when I woke up the next morning I had a horrible cough. For the couple days I was sick again. This was all well and fine until about Tuesday the 19th, when I started to get a headache. The headache got worse until it was nearly unbearable (right when I was seeing Wicked… coincidence?). The next day, Gabby convinced me to take a day off of work.
The next day I went to CityMD. I explained to the doctor that I’ve had an unbearable headache for 48 hours and that this has never happened to me. He then asked “What exactly are you worried about with it, though?” Like maybe the unbearable headache part. He asked me if it hurt in my sinuses and I said yes, which completely changed his tune. He prescribed me Ibuprofen, a round of Steroids, Benzonatate and some other liquid medicine to help coughs. Really did a full 180.
I felt much better for the next couple of days… until Sunday night. After spending the day in Greenpoint and seeing Gladiator II, my stomach started to feel weird. “My medicine is making me feel a little heavy…” I told Gabby. We slept, but at 3am I darted awake in a cold sweat and ran to the bathroom. Yeah, I vomited. I then proceeded to vomit every 30 minutes until maybe 9pm. I couldn’t leave the bed all day but I couldn’t sleep. My dreams were Cynthia Erivo and Paul Mescal and I was putting on some dinner party and I kept having to take guests to their seats. The only things I’ve eaten in the last 24 hours are saltine crackers and gatorade. I feel unnerved and traumatized. I have no clue what caused this. It could have been food poisoning at the new pasta place Gabby and I tried. It could have been my medications interacting in a strange way. I choose to blame Cap and Gown’s Miami Vice night or whatever was happening that one day I came.
P.S. Shoutout to Gabby who bought me snacks and drinks and had to clean up after me I’m so so so sorry. Happy 19 months!